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[Friday, July 17th @ 8:52pm] |
GUYS
RECOMMEND ME A MOVIE (AVAILABLE ON DVD PLEASE?) THAT YOU LIKE OR WANT TO WATCH OR WHATEVER. i'm making a massive hard drive of movies for uni for me + jordan. clearly i'm not clingyyyyyyyyy.
my old bestie is really getting on my fucking last nerve. JESUS CHRIST THIS'LL BE A RANT. he's getting on his high horse about pretty much everything ever, as usual. aaaaaaaarggggh. i don't care that you're 18 and have wasted >£2,000 on music but i'm going to continue ripping my music from myspace/getting sent it/torrenting it. also he's become an indie prince and general annoying hypocrite as every teenager ever seems to be these days.
jesus christ don't even get me started on losers who think drug taking suddenly elevates them socially because regardless of however much coke you stuff up your nostrils, you're still a fucking twat that will ultimately have no friends.
as you can tell i'm in a foul mood. choke on shitttttttttttt owen. i hope i don't encounter your stupid ~university cool kid~ self at reading because i will literally projectile vomit all over you oh my godddddd.
in other news, i want one of those neutrogena wave things. they don't even look like they'll work i just want cleaner pores hahahaha.
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[Thursday, July 16th @ 2:49pm] |
This is my friend's Facebook status:
"is being treaded on under the pretense of 'speeding ticket';...but we all know that it's just another way for the government to empty out our pockets!"
SHUT UP INTERNET LIBERTARIANS
JUST SHUT UP
oops I meant ~anarcho capitalist~
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| no asians in avatar: the last airbender movie |
[Wednesday, July 15th @ 12:46pm] |
So, I feel like I should mention this. During Transformers 2, I saw the preview for the Avatar movie, and although I LOVE the show more than anything, I am so disappointed in the movie. To begin with, it's being directed by M. Night Shyamalan (uh) but the WORST part is the casting.
Is there any doubt - any doubt at all - that the Avatar world is based in an oriental/Inuit setting? Is there any doubt that the majority of the characters are, in fact, Asian? Well, then take a look at the casting that Paramount did.
Clockwise from top left: Aang, Zuko, Katara, and Sokka.
If you are not familiar with those characters, let me show you an image of them:
Katara, Sokka, Zuko.
As an Asian-American, I am shocked and disgusted. I have nothing against these actors personally, but why weren't Asian-Americans considered or casted for these roles? I have no doubt that there are children of Asian heritage out there who could act and carry leading roles. One of my favorite comic artists, Derek Kirk Kim, sums my feelings up more eloquently than I can:
"Or let me draw a closer parallel—imagine if someone had made a “fantasy” movie in which the entire world was built around African culture. Everyone is wearing ancient African clothes, African hats, eating traditional African food, writing in an African language, living in African homes, all encompassed in an African landscape...
...but everyone is white.
How offensive, insulting, and disrespectful would that be toward Africans and African Americans? How much more offensive would it be if only the heroes were white and all the villians and background characters were African American? (I wince in fear thinking about "The Last Airbender" suffering from the latter dynamic—which it probably will.)
...And the reason this miscasting is particularly stinging when it comes to “Avatar” is because of the high quality of the source material. "The Last Airbender" has the potential to be something like "Star Wars"—something with lasting value that could give new heroes to your average household in America. And to have something for Asian American kids, and ethnic kids in general, to look up to. To let them know heroes can also look like them and speak fluent English like them. I think it could give immeasurable confidence and pride to these under-represented kids to have something like "Avatar" if it turns out to be as good as I hope. There's no reason Asian Americans should have to forsake "Star Wars" for "Citizen Kane." Both kinds of films have their merits and places in culture and it would be healthy to strive for both--to have Asian Americans and all minority Americans be a part of the entire spectrum
...African Americans kids can finally, realistically dream of being president one day. Can't Asian American kids— perhaps my kids —at least dream of being something as relatively insignificant as central characters in some escapist Hollywood movie where everything is stolen from their heritage?
Can't they be a part of America too?
Please support the Media Action Network for Asian Americans and the East West Players (founded by Mako, the voice of Uncle Iroh himself!!), which are both in support of providing more opportunities for Asian-American actors.
And while the movie production is already under way and there is probably no chance of us getting a recast, please just realize that although this may be a great opportunity lost, we can still protest and let Hollywood know that we realize what they've done.
Also, check out racebending.com for a ton more information.
Bleh.
Edit: Also, I realize a lot of progress has been made in Hollywood (like in Disney/Pixar's Up!), but there's always room for more progress.
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[Tuesday, July 14th @ 10:26pm] |
I'm trying to pick a hotel for a trip down to SD, so help a sister out here? :)
( hotels )
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| summer girl |
[Tuesday, July 14th @ 1:40pm] |
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music |
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arrah and the ferns |
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Yesterday I saw the new Transformers movie which was TOTALLY AWESOME, oh, god, Rampage, and Starscream, and Bumblebee... loved it. Super cheesy but still totally worth it.
Today I went surfing for the first time in my life - I did not even get a chance to try to catch a wave! I basically spent the whole time fighting the waves to get out there, and since I did not have a good teacher, it was difficult. I am gonna just take my board and paddle around Richardsons for a while to get used to being on top the damn thing and build up some upper body strength. Also, my feet got all sorts of cut up from the rocks! Blood EVERYWHERES. But Walter was nice and we spent the rest of the time collecting sea glass while we waited for the other guys to finish surfing.
Also, I took photos of my friends a while ago and should share them here- this will be old to a lot of you by now, but new for some, so!
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[Tuesday, July 14th @ 10:15am] |
i'm watching the girls next door and it's strangely addictive. i respect bridget & holly moreso than kendra, who seems to just be an attention seeking idiot with no life ambition? oh goddd @ me getting into these series HAHA. i've already watched every episode of ANTM ever through the duration of this school year, so this is clearly the next step for me in terms of horrific reality tv. oh dearrr.
results day in 5 weeks. shitttt. it's gotten to the point where i'm not nervous and instead have resigned myself to absolute failure? so if i get UUU, it's expected. if i get AAA then YESS. i can't even remember my exam performance now so i'm totally clueless as to how it went. :/
i think that everybody gets ~pre university doubts~ etc but i'm having them SO BADLY. i don't want to leave jordan for THREE YEARS. hello clingyyy girl. idk it just doesn't seem as if it'll be ~fun~ if i'm not at the same university as him. then again, if i went to the same uni i would NEVER, EVER GET ANY WORK DONE. and obviously it's not wise to change your life plan just for a male, but it would have been nice if coincidentally it ended up that we both went to the same place. hm.
NO NEED FOR THIS ENTRY, JUST WRITING OUT MY THOUGHTS.
need to go and get changed and i'm so lazy that i can't be bothered. i'm going to be late out today pooo.
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[Monday, July 13th @ 11:59pm] |
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“What kind of an idea are you? Are you the kind that compromises, does deals, accommodates itself to society, aims to find a niche, to survive; or are you the cussed, bloody-minded, ramrod-backed type of damnfool notion that would rather break than sway with the breeze? – The kind that will almost certainly, ninety-nine times out of a hungred, be smashed to bits; but, the hundredth time, will change the world.”
-The Satanic Verses
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| my god, finally |
[Sunday, July 12th @ 10:29am] |
I like who I am.
I like that my hair smells like coconuts and my hands smell like cherry blossoms.
I like that I am so thin without even trying.
I like that I have read so many books about cats that I can share the knowledge with my friends.
I like that I collect older brother figures.
I like that I have a toe ring.
I like that I have freckles. Me, an Asian, with freckles!!
I like that I do crosswords.
I like that I have dainty, elegant hands that people envy.
I like my taste in music.
I like my taste in literature.
I like that I am unashamed to be me.
No, scratch all of that, I love those things about me!
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[Sunday, July 12th @ 8:06pm] |
I FEEL REPULSED
I WANT TO BLEACH MY SKIN
I WANT TO VOMIT
SO MANY FEELINGS OF DISGUST AT ONCE?
i pick up a top off the side by our utility room, assuming that as it is in there it's been washed. so there i am wearing my top...and then jordan says to me later that it smells like a period. obviously i'm mortified, as it can't be me (a) i'm not dirty b) not on my period c) even if i was, IT WOULDNT SMELL ON MY SHIRT?) so i get changed.
i ask my mum WHAT THE HELL is wrong with our washing machine (it could be like ~iron rust~?) and she informs me that siobhan's friend (the size 16 girl who enjoys taking our clothes!) has worn it, and it hasn't been washed since.
i wore that top once before that ugly disgusting foul bitch took it, and now i don't think i'll wear it again until it's gone through 5 washes? i feel sick.
a) WHO TAKES THE CLOTHES OF YOUR FRIEND'S SIBLING.
b) WHO DOESN'T WASH CLOTHES THAT YOU BORROWED PRIOR TO RETURNING THEM?
c) WHO HAS A PERIOD THAT STINKS?
d) WHO HAS A PERIOD THAT STINKS ON A FUCKING TSHIRT
e) WHO DOESN'T NOTICE THAT AND THEN WASH IT?
f) WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME.
on the same note, i had 4 packets of crisps in my room from when jordan stayed over. i wanted to keep them there as they'd instantly get eaten downstairs. i come home, and all four packets are empty on her bedroom floor.
tuesday i'm installing a padlock and key. HOPEFULLY NOW I WILL BE SAFE? fuck life yeah, you know you're in hell when it's now a necessity to sniff your clothes prior to selecting them in an outfit incase an overweight 14 year old has menstruated on them?
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| dog ramblings~ |
[Saturday, July 11th @ 1:25pm] |
omg my dog walk with dylan was awful. i cried twice.
he just eats everything. he can be SO bad when he wants to, but the rest of the time he's lovely? he's moody because my mum isn't walking him, so he decides to pick up and attempt to eat EVERYTHING THAT CAN, AND WILL ACTUALLY KILL HIM. he picked up this chunk of plastic/stone (i couldn't tell) and wouldn't let go. i'm trying to pry his jaw open (which, btw, is impossible) and fight through the pain of being repeatedly bitten and get it out. and he's refusing a swap over (treat 4 DEATHLY UNKNOWN OBJECT) so i just give up and cry. eventually i see him eating the treat but i can't know for sure if he ate the object, then treat, or JUST treat? i've pried THREE bottle caps out of his mouth (btw, WHO DRINKS STELLA IN A KID'S PLAYPARK?) and become quite the expert in it.
he panics me. i've cried twice on the dog walk and one guy slowed down his van and told me i had nice 'tits' WHILST I WAS IN TEARS. i'm not sure if it was his attempt to calm me down, thinking that i suddenly had a massive pang of anxiety over my physical appearance that drove me to a public break down, or if he was just a pervert. going with the latter tbh.
i met a guy with a husky who walked around with me and i explained what had happened and he basically fixed ALL OF MY LIFE TRAUMA. he said he recognised me because my mum looks identical to me? which is weird but ok! anyway his dog has eaten the scange from the edge of ponds (and vomited spontaneously), eaten entire plastic bottles he's ripped to shreds, underwear, socks, half the sole of his shoe, hoods from hoodies, etc, and NEVER gone to the vet and he's still alive. whilst obviously it's not advisable to feed your dog plastic i don't think it'll kill him. dogs aren't entirely ~stupid~, he wouldn't eat something that was too big for him? then again he does regularly eat plants + grass and ends up vomiting them back up. i hope it's vomited back up and i don't have to pull it out of his arse (like my mum had to when he ate the newspaper ...classy times).
anyway, i feel insanely guilty for this whole incident. i actually feel incompetent as a dog owner? i know it's pathetic but he's tiny, and essentially a baby. if anything bad happens as a result of this i'll actually hate myself. shitshit. i wonder if i should go to the vets just incase? then again there is a TINY chance of this happening. what he ate was too big for his mouth so i doubt he swallowed it? if i go to the doctor it's just more unnecessary sedatives (he had an op last week too so it's a bit out of order to keep doing this to him) AND exposing him to ~x-rays~ and i don't want him to get cancer.
HOW CAN I WRITE THIS MUCH OVER A SPLIT SECOND INCIDENT I DONT KNOW
BUT I HAVE STOMACH CRAMPS WITH GUILT, SELF LOATHING AND WORRY FOR OUR PUPPY.
omfg what if i've killed him :| if he dies i'm deleting this entry so ~no one knows~. slash telling my mum who will probably banish me for life.
jordan's coming over now anyway. ahhh :)
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| a song about OPTIMUS PRIME |
[Thursday, July 9th @ 5:22pm] |
I'm a giant robot living very far from home
and I miss my planet very much, but I have to be strong
I came here upon the ark with some friends of mine
We were looking for some energon when we crash-landed on earth
Now I live among little humans I could squish beneath my feet
But I don't cuz I'm a gentle creature who doesn't like to kill
Unless we're talking 'bout Megatron, cuz I want that bastard dead!
He's a menace to the universe, his terror is widespread
I am Optimus Prime
I'll always fight for what I know is right
And I'll never say never
And I'll never say die
So as long as there's Decepticons, I'll be here by your side
Ironhide once told me, "Prime you've got to get away
You've been working for 4 million years, you could use a holiday"
I said, "Thank you friend I do agree, I'm getting pretty tired,
But my Autobots need me here to keep them safe from harm"
Besides where's a giant robot go when he wants to be alone?
On a planet full of tiny life, there's no place he can hide
The trees come up to my knees and won't shade my weary head
The mountain range might be okay, but my paint gives me away
I am Optimus Prime
This planet I'm on will never feel like mine
But I'll never say never
And I'll never say die
So as long as humans need me here
I'll be here by their side
Sometimes I turn into a truck to blend in with the crowd
And I'll drive as far as I can go until someone calls for help
Then it's back to being a robot who shadows everything
And the humans don't want my help, because they're scared of me
Maybe one day I'll go to the moon and make my home up there
I think I'll call it Moon Base 1, and I will not have to care
But that's not in my soul, I can't ignore a distress call
If you need me just say the word and I'll be your protector
Cuz I am Optimus Prime
I carry the Matrix that shows me the light
So I'll never say never
And I'll never say never
So as long as there's Decepticons
I'll be here by your side.
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[Thursday, July 9th @ 3:08pm] |
my day has no structureeeee to it at all. does any one else here play farmville/that restaurant game on facebook? I SWEAR ITS SO HARD :( i'm desperately saving for some nice tables and chairs (one table + one chair of choice = £1.1k D:) and it's pissing me off. but i want an amazing restaurant so w/e. oh god this is how exciting LIFE HAS BECOME.
my other sister seems to think that i've become her manager/PA/secretary and texts me saying 'tell so and so this, tell so and so that'? yeah ok let me waste my calling allowance fulfilling your every wish and demand ~no1 princess~
anyway off to watch how clean is your house and bask in the horror that is a 6-year build up of grime, period blood & pubic hairs. mmm.
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| the west coast vacation |
[Wednesday, July 8th @ 8:52am] |
OKAY. I'll finally write about my trip with some photos here and there. Everything went pretty well.. the plane ride seemed to take forever and did a good job at wiping out my enthusiasm for the trip, because my allergies were so horrible that I was sneezing almost 6 times a minute. Buuut then we got there, saw my dad, drove to my cousin Miki's house, and promptly went to sleep. The next morning, we drove down to Oregon!
After the 3hr drive there, we had to kill time before our 5 o'clock dinner, so we went to Lloyd Center, and went ICE SKATING. I haven't done it since I was 8 or so, and Olin's never done it, so it was really fun for both of us.
I was so jealous of this one 5-year old girl. She looked Japanese and was doing these amazing turns and spins and when I was 5, the only thing I wanted to be was a figure skater, like Kristy Yamauchi or Michelle Kwan. I've decided that I'll take some lessons when I move to the mainland! I may never be a great figure skater, but if I can do recitals in local adult pairs competitions, I will be happy. :)
Then we dropped off our bags at my aunt's house. Aunt Sue and Uncle Keith are probably the relatives on my dad's side that I was closest to, since I've been to their house twice before, and I've always liked it. Unfortunately, this time was not so nice. We got there, and Aunt Sue seemed kind of cold.. she asked who my friend was, and I just thought she wanted to be introduced to Olin. However, when we were all upstairs sorting out the sleeping arrangements, she said, "Oh, you two share a bed? Then I don't want you in my house." I was confused and shocked, and didn't know how to react, so I kind of laughed nervously. I thought maybe she was joking, but she wasn't. Apparently, she is a fierce Christian. No one warned me, and I felt horribly for days after. LATER I discovered this is all because my dad never told her Olin was coming up, agghh, my dad is so terrible at things like that.
Anyway, then we ate dinner at my grandmother's nursing home, which was Hawaiian luau theme. Funny. Olin and I sat across of the pastor, his wife, and his beautiful granddaughter Ellie, and we had a really nice conversation with them.
Olin, me, dad
( 9 More days to go... )
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[Wednesday, July 8th @ 8:09am] |
Apparently I'm strange for being distraught over MJ. Lemme explain something. When I was little my mom had a weekend off maybe once a month. So on Saturday she would pop in the MJ movie " MoonWalker " and we'd watch it and dance around. So Michael has always been in my life and those times with my mom made me love him and his music even more. So no, I didn't know Michael personally but I feel the lost as if I had.
I am sorry I'm apparently the only one who didn't have a cookie cutter existence and relationship with my parents. I always turned to music and it's creators to keep me company. My parents both work demanding job and always have. To have me be able to be privileged and succeed they had to work all the time, so of course they weren't around a lot. Hence, music having a major part in my life....further more the creators of one of my favorite music having a big place in m y heart.
My grandma died about a day before MJ. I didn't go to the funeral. I couldn't. People may think I didn't care but you're wrong. I cared a lot. And if you don't believe me, I invite you to call my boyfriend Josh who held me while I cried. The only person , til this day(besides the 2 people who would have had no way of knowing without me telling them b/c they don't do the whole internet update your life thing), who has said " I'm sorry your grandma died ". She was my last grandparent. So all of them are gone. And my grandparents were the only people in my family who never thought I was strange or weird. That's another reason MJ was so influential to me. People called him weird but he was just trying to live his life. I identified with that.
So, people can think they know how I feel about things and what I'm about...they don't. So am I super close to my parents...no. Am I super close to the remaining people in my family...no.Does this mean I don't care about them...fuck no.
Did I cry for MJ the same way I cried for my grandparents...yes, I am not weird for that nor will I apologize for it. It's my heart and my feelings and I will never be made to feel wrong or silly for any of it.
My Demi hat...which also has become the MJ hat
Fleh, I'm not mad at people though, disappointed a little bit for sure. But writing this has gotten the feelings out really so I'll be over it by 10 o'clock .
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[Tuesday, July 7th @ 11:17pm] |
i took all of my coursework/old essays/torrents (20gb of tv to watch) off my internal hard drive and put it on my external hard drive. i deleted it off the internal.
today, i wiped my external.
FUCKSFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK i'm genuinely upset. i spent SO much time on all of that work etc, i'd at least like a copy? :/ AARGHGHG.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER
WHEN I ERASE ONE PARTITION
IT DOESNT MEAN ERASE THE OPPOSITE ONE THAT I DONT WANT YOU TO ERASE
PIECE OF SHIT WANK COCK FUCK SHIT ARGH.
it's sad but i'm crying cos i've lost everything. and it's not as if i have my back up now cos it was on the SAME HARD DRIVE HAHAHA OH GOD LIFE.
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| D: |
[Tuesday, July 7th @ 9:26am] |
does anyone like d-boys?? or johnnys or wahtever because i have two photobooks that i need to get rid of to make room for my basara and p4 artbooks :DDDD
so yah comment and ill send you my stuffffff
comments are screened :D
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[Tuesday, July 7th @ 4:44pm] |
today i washed my dog and blow dryed him. and i'm about to clean my shutters. ~*exciting life*~ clearly.
SO, SO SCARED FOR THE 20TH OF AUGUST AHh.
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[Monday, July 6th @ 8:03pm] |
my hair is SO ANNOYING. it's at that point where it's half grown into something hideous and flicks out and i want it shorter WHINE WHINE WHINE. it's really frustrating me so i'm tying it up and forgetting that it exists. gargh.
until then watching peep show, cleaning my room/organising it. it hasn't changed since i was 16? :/ oh god 2 years since i turned 16, WEIRD. anyway life yess i'm excited excited excited for friday/this weekend.
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[Monday, July 6th @ 12:52am] |
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i want it to be friday! :(
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| simple summer |
[Friday, July 3rd @ 11:59pm] |
Since I've been back, I've probably done more things than I did in all of June. I went to the beach - twice, both times with all girls, and the female energy was fantastic. I've stayed up til 1am with Leah and Walter, I've eaten a pot brownie that lasted way too long, and I got drunk and danced. I'm well on my way to making this summer count!
Thank you everyone who replied last time; in the next couple of days, I'll be replying to each one, but as a short update, let me just say that things are okay now. I'm doing my best to just go with the flow and not overthink anything too much.
Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and a bunch of us will be going to go watch the fireworks, and then to a ragin' party out in Puna. I love my neighbors and I love my girlfriends. And I am starting to love myself again, too. My eating hasn't been good lately, but it's not because I've been overeating - the opposite, really. I've somehow been managing to get buy on a meal a day with snacks in between, and that's horrible, I gotta start eating more.
I'm also really into astrology again. I am hoping that this summer, I'll develop a more spirtual side. And learn how to surf.
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